Subject: In Memory of Baruch Yitzchak ben Yirmiyahu (Barry Pessin)
From: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
Date: 4/1/2016, 5:15 AM
To: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
BCC: menachem@alonsystems.com
The Mishna (3;13) in Avos says: One who whitens his friends face publicly has no share in the world-to-come.
The expression of whitening his friends face means that he embarrasses his friend. Our Sages speak in very strong terms about publicly embarrassing someone. They state that it is better to jump into a fiery furnace than to embarrass someone publicly, and that committing such an act "is as if" he has murdered someone.
The commentators explain why this is such a grave transgression. One explanation is that committing such an act is indicative of a serious character flaw in the person and it will be extremely difficult for them to ever repent. This is unfortunately something that we all can easily transgress, many times unwittingly, and therefore it requires serious awareness of our actions and words.
There is a story of R'Shlomo Zalman Aurebach one of the great rabbis of last generation. There was a poor old man who lived near a certain study hall in which many great rabbis used to speak. This man felt he himself should speak as well. Therefore one day between Mincha and Maariv this man decided to stand up on the bima and began to give a lecture. Most of the people snickered and left as he spoke but R'Shlomo Zalman, who was known for his stellar character traits, remained and listen intently. After the lecture, R'Shlomo Zalman stood up and congratulated the man on his lecture. R'Aurebach realized that getting up and leaving when this man spoke would cause him great embarrassment and by no means wanted to cause anguish to this poor soul.