Subject: In Memory of Baruch Yitzchak ben Yirmiyahu (Barry Pessin)
From: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
Date: 9/16/2016, 6:35 AM
To: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
BCC: menachem@alonsystems.com
The Mishna in Avos (4;12) says "R'Eliezer ben Shamua says....your friends honor should be like the honor of your teacher."
The Mishna is telling us to honor your friend on a level which is fitting to honor your teacher. One of the reasons given for this is that everyone of our friends we have inevitably at some point learned something from. Even if we only learned one thing we have become this person's "student" in that respect. We are therefore obligated to honor them accordingly.
This is opposed to what our Sages say that a person should not be "honored through the downfall of his friend". We should never seek honor through our friend's failure. Most people define (either consciously or unconsciously) their self-worth in relation to the people around them. If they are smarter, wealthier, prettier, funny etc. than the next guy then they feel "successful" and worthy of honor which leads us to inevitably deriving honor from our friends failure. This is a nature that a person must uproot from their heart and mind. We should constantly be happy and pleased to see the success of our friends and their honor.