Subject: In Memory of Baruch Yitzchak ben Yirmiyahu (Barry Pessin)
From: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
Date: 11/11/2016, 4:13 AM
To: Heath Berkin <heath.berkin@gmail.com>
BCC: menachem@alonsystems.com
The Mishna in Avos (4;19) says you should not strive to see your friend his time of failure (embarrassment).
There are a number of ways to explain this statement.
One is that the Mishna is telling us that when our friend is going through a difficult time we should strive to (just) see him. By going to look at or see our friend this can be construed as gloating in his failure. But this is only if we just go see, if on the other hand we go to our friend and try to console, speak and comfort them through their difficult time then this is praiseworthy. The Mishna is telling us don't be a spectator, either get involved and try to help your friend or stay away!
Another way to understand this is that the Mishna is telling us that you shouldn't strive to see your friend. Many times your friend may be going through a difficult/embarrassing time and he doesn't want to show his face or to be around people. If you see your friend or run in to him you should try your best to help in any way possible, but if you need to strive to find him this is a sign that you should stay away. It means that he/she needs some time and should be left alone.