This week was the Yarhzeit of one of the greatest Torah leaders of the last generation Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurebach. He was know for his exceptional middot and the way he treated and interacted with people of all kinds. One day and elated father came to R'Aurebach and told him that his wife had given birth, Thank G-d, to a healthy baby boy. The father explained to the Rav that he and his wife are having difficulty agreeing on the name for the child. There is someone in his family who he felt he needed to name his son for and his name was "Yonatan". His wife though was adamantly against it because in the building where they live there was a family who name their son Yonatan and he tragically died as an infant. Many people don't name after someone who died young, but in this case they weren't naming after the infant Yonatan they were naming after the older family member.

With incredible sensitivity, R'Shlomo Zalman told the father that he should listen to his wife and not use the name Yonatan. The husband questioned the Rav as there are many people who name Yonatan, and they aren't naming after this infant who died. And if they choose another name like Chaim, aren't there also people named Chaim who died young?

The Rav's response came from his deep love for all of Bnei Yisroel. He told the father, "the reason I said not to name Yonatan is not because there is an issue with giving the name of the deceased infant, but it is because of the mother of the deceased infant. When you son grows up and starts running up and down the stairs and playing outside and your wife calls "Yonatan come home" if the neighbor who lost her infant hears this it will cause her a tremendous amount of pain".

You can't use the name because you will cause this woman severe distress by doing so and constantly reminding her of her loss.

We are not on the level of these great leaders in terms of knowledge and religious observance, but we can all surly strive to at least act with the same middos that they had.

Shabbat Shalom,

Heath