A student once came into his Rosh Yeshiva and told him that he has a major problem controlling his anger. The Rosh Yeshiva told his student the following story:

There was a cruise ship that embarked and a few "pirates" boarded the ship as well dressed as passengers. They planned to enter the cabin and take over the ship when it was in the middle of the ocean, redirecting it to their planned destination.

In the middle of the journey though there was some bad weather and the ship's crew needed to make a decision where to anchor. A heated discussion broke out between the captains of the ship and they became enraged with one another, unable to come to a decision. The pirates took advantage of the tumult, broke into the cabin and took the crew hostage. They tied up the crew and directed the captain to steer the ship to the planned location. The Rosh Yeshiva asked the student if he thinks that in such a situation the captains were still angry with each other. The student said of course not, they were afraid they would be killed. The Rosh Yeshiva told the student that there was no fear they would be killed, the pirates just wanted money. He then told his student to think about it and come back to him with an answer.

The student returned some time later and told his Rosh Yeshiva that in fact the captains would no longer be angry with one another. When questioned for an explanation he told his Rosh Yeshiva, that the reason the captains got so angry with one another is because each one felt like he was running the show, he was the captain of the boat and he would decide. When someone else had a different opinion and felt that he too was the captain and had the power to decide this is what caused the animosity between them. In most cases the reason we get angry is we feel like we should be in control and someone else is taking or trying to take that control from us. The student explained that when the pirates took over the ship the two captains realized that in truth neither one of them is in control of the ship, it is in the hands of the pirates so there is no reason to still be angry.

When we realize that we are not in control and that our adversary isn't either, that the only one in control is Hashem, our anger should dissipate.

Shabbat Shalom,

Heath