In this week's parsha we read about Avraham Avinu and some of the various tests that he endured. One of episodes recounted is how Avraham Avinu went to war and risked his life to save his nephew Lot. We also find that eventually Avraham and Lot parted ways. The Torah tells us that when they parted ways that Hashem spoke to Avraham. The commentators point out that while Lot was with Avraham Hashem didn't speak with Avraham.

We don't find the commentators say there was an issue with the fact that Avraham went to save Lot, but they do suggest that Avraham having Lot in his company was negative, evident from the fact that during that time Hashem didn't speak to Avraham.

I think there is an important lesson we can learn (and pass on to our children as well). Of course Avraham needed to concern himself with the well-being of his nephew and do what he could to help him but he didn't need to live with him or associate with him in a deeper relationship. Many times we have friends or acquaintances or even just our fellow man who have a negative impact on us. We cannot be callous and we should always be willing to offer a helping hand, but just because we care and want to help doesn't mean we should associate closely with these people. If your child was in school with a classmate who is a drug addict, you certainly wouldn't want that child to come over to play at your house or vice versa. But at the same time if they call your child on the phone and want the homework assignment they shouldn't be ignored. It is appropriate to pray for them and see what can be done to help them while keeping the appropriate distance. As adults too, there are people who are toxic and may have a very negative impact on us. Most people either stay entirely away from these people ignoring their existence or they take the opposite approach and show great friendship and compassion even though it impacts them negatively.

We need to know there are boundaries. We should care and show compassion, but it is forbidden to perpetuate a negative relationship.

Shabbat Shalom,

Heath