In this week's parsha we read the well known verse, that you should "love your friend as you love yourself". We are in the midst of the period of mourning for the tens of thousands of Rabbi Akiva's students who our Sages say all died during this time because they did not show proper respect for one another. Many people are careful about their interpersonal relationships with friends, colleagues, co-workers and even complete strangers, but when it comes to their own household to their parents, siblings, spouses and children they seem to forget that this commandment applies to those relationships as well. In fact, our Sages commonly use this commandment to regulate interactions between husband and wife to make sure we act with the proper sensitivities.

R'Eliemelech Biderman retold a fascinating story of a man who merited to have a very large distinguished family with over a hundred grandchildren. He remarked to someone that if it wouldn't have been for a "dream" he had he never would have had such a beautiful family. He explained that after two weeks after his wedding he happened to be at his in-law's house. When nobody else other than his mother-in-law was present, she began to scream, insult and embarrass him tremendously. He left her house stunned and didn't know what to do. He immediately sought counsel from one of his teachers, a pious scholar from Jerusalem R' Elya Roth Zt'l. He explained to his teacher what just happened and R'Elya asked him if anyone else was in the house when it happened. The young man responded that there was nobody else present. He then asked the young man if he told his wife or his own parents what happened, once again the young man responded in the negative. The only people that knew what happened was him and his mother-in-law. R'Elya turned to the young man and said to him "it was just a dream", from now on the entire episode was just a dream it never happened! As difficult as it was the young man took the sage advice and considered the entire episode a dream. He obviously didn't share his dreams with his new wife and didn't relate this dream to anyone else. Two weeks later his mother-in-law called him over and apologized to him. He responded by asking her for what? She recounted the episode and the young man said I don't know what you are talking about. It must have been a dream you had. The mother-in-law was stunned but the young man insisted that the incident didn't happen and it must have been a dream of hers. He claimed that she knew his temperament and if such an incident happened he would have told his wife and his mother as well and there would have been a huge uproar. The mother-in-law responded that she saw his mother this week and she didn't mention anything about it so he obviously didn't relate the incident. His mother-in-law dropped the issue and that was the end of the "dream".

Normally in such cases the newlywed husband would have walked straight to the courts and proceed to give his wife a "get". Who would remain in such a marriage after such abuse?

But he decided to take another course of action and he remained happily married and built the huge wonderful family that he had.

May Hashem send a speedy recovery to all of our sick brothers and sisters.

Shabbat Shalom,

Heath